by Joseph Montgomery
Medium: Mud on Fence
It amazes me how complete the darkness can be. It must be late morning and the sun hasn’t started to disturb the quiet, dusty surfaces of this room. I wonder what time it is. I peeked out the window a few minutes ago and the sunlight blinded me, so I turned away and came back to this sanctuary of shadows. This inner room is cluttered and dark, but it was used so infrequently in the old days that it holds none of the painful memories that still cling to other rooms. I spend most of my time here.
Jenn says there will be a time when I can again walk through this home with a smile. I try to pray for this miracle, but the silence I hear afterward is too suffocating. I’ve been hurt by nearly everything in my life and I just can’t put my heart into reaching out to God. I’m afraid he will hurt me, too, and that rejection would be the most painful of all.